When Passion Meets Pressure
- Jessica Raimondo
- Jan 25
- 4 min read
Supporting Youth When Neurodivergence Affects Extracurricular
For many young people, hobbies, sports, and extracurricular activities are more than just something to do after school, they’re a lifeline. A soccer field, dance studio, robotics lab, or drama class can be a place of joy, connection, and identity. But what happens when mental health challenges or the impacts of neurodivergence start to interfere with a young person’s ability to engage in what they love? It’s a question many caregivers, coaches, educators, and youth themselves are quietly grappling with.
Signs Something is Off
The shift might be subtle at first: A once-passionate athlete starts skipping practice. A music student loses interest in performing. A teen who loved volunteering withdraws from their group.
Sometimes these changes are temporary and part of normal ups and downs. But other times, they signal that something deeper is going on , like anxiety, depression, burnout, ADHD-related executive functioning difficulties, sensory overload, or social pressures that feel overwhelming.
Understanding the “Why” Behind the Withdrawal
Instead of focusing solely on what’s changing (like missed practices or decreased performance), it’s more helpful to ask why it’s happening.
For example:
A youth with social anxiety may dread attending team meetings, even if they still love the sport itself.
A teen with ADHD might struggle with the organizational demands of balancing homework, practice, and rest.
A young person experiencing depression may lose motivation or feel like they’re not good enough, despite past success.
And for many neurodivergent youth, extracurricular settings may not always feel safe or inclusive. Noise, structure, unspoken social rules, or lack of accommodations can make even beloved activities exhausting.
The Role of Executive Functioning in Youth Participation
Executive functioning refers to the brain’s ability to plan, prioritize, stay organized, manage time, and regulate emotions, all essential skills in structured sports and extracurricular settings. Youth who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, or mental health challenges, may find these areas especially difficult. This might show up in different ways.
Forgetting gear or uniforms regularly, might lead to anxiety or missed practices.
Difficulty managing time, might often result in being late or skipping sessions entirely.
Struggling with transitions, such as shifting from school to practice, or from warm-up to game mode might feel overwhelming.
Overwhelm with multi-step instructions, especially in fast-paced or high-pressure situations.
Emotional dysregulation, like frustration during drills or after mistakes, leading to feelings of failure or shame.
Procrastinating or avoiding preparation (e.g., not packing a gym bag or completing pre-game routines), which is often mistaken for laziness but is actually rooted in executive dysfunction.
These challenges can lead to negative feedback from coaches or teammates, increased stress at home, and internalized feelings of inadequacy, all of which make the activity feel more like a source of pressure than joy.
Reframing Success and Participation
It can be heartbreaking for families or coaches to watch a young person pull away from something they’ve loved. But sometimes, continuing “as is” causes more harm than good. Instead of forcing participation, consider reframing what success looks like:
Adjust expectations: Maybe they attend half a session instead of the full one. Maybe they take a break mid-season. Maybe support is added to help with preparation or routines.
Provide executive function supports: Use checklists, reminders, visual schedules, or even a buddy system to reduce overwhelm and support success.
Create safety: Help them feel understood and accepted, not judged for needing accommodations.
Offer alternatives: Could they take on a different role (e.g., mentoring, refereeing, assisting) that aligns better with their current capacity?
The Role of Support Systems
When a youth is struggling, collaboration is key. Parents, coaches, educators, and mental health professionals can work together to not only validate the youth’s feelings, but also explore root causes (mental health, sensory needs, stressors. A youth’s support system can also try to adjust expectations without shame, as well as advocate for accommodations and inclusive practices in extracurricular settings.
It’s also worth checking in on how the activity is structured. Is the environment inclusive? Are there unspoken pressures to perform? Are breaks, flexibility, and quiet spaces available?
Helping Youth Reconnect - On Their Terms
Sometimes, stepping back from an activity is part of a healing journey, not the end of one.
With the right support, youth often find their way back to what they love, or discover new passions better suited to who they are now. It’s okay if their path looks different than expected. What matters most is that they feel safe, seen, and supported in being themselves, whether on the field, on the stage, or simply at home.
Organized sports and extracurriculars can be incredibly meaningful, but they should never come at the cost of a young person’s mental health. By recognizing the signs, listening with empathy, and adjusting our expectations, we can help young people stay connected to joy, even when their capacity changes.
After all, it’s not about pushing through at all costs. It’s about making space for growth, rest, and authenticity.
WonderTree provides mental health support designed for high-performance athletes, helping them build resilience, manage pressure, and thrive in and out of competition!
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IMPORTANT: Information shared by WonderTree is not intended to replace or be constituted as clinical or medical care. It’s intended for educational purposes only. Each child is unique, and the information provided may not be applicable to your specific situation. If you need support, please establish care with a licensed provider so that they can provide tailored recommendations for you or your child. This blog is non-monetized.