Alexithymia Explained: When Feelings Don’t Have Words
- Dr. Stephanie Lavoie and Dr. Michelle Fardella
- Aug 12
- 3 min read
Alexithymia? A term you may not hear often, but it describes a very real experience for many people. Alexithymia refers to difficulty in identifying, describing, and processing emotions. Individuals with alexithymia may struggle to recognize what they're feeling, have trouble putting emotions into words, or find it hard to distinguish between emotional and physical sensations (for example, confusing sadness with fatigue). It’s not that these individuals don’t have emotions, it's that accessing and articulating those emotions feels especially challenging.
Alexithymia isn't considered a mental health disorder on its own. Instead, it’s seen as a trait or profile that can appear across a variety of populations. Research suggests that about 10% of the general population experiences some level of alexithymia, but it’s far more common among individuals with certain neurodevelopmental and mental health profiles.
Who Experiences Alexithymia?
Alexithymia frequently shows up in populations such as:
Autistic individuals: Studies indicate that up to 50% of autistic people may experience alexithymia. It’s important to note that alexithymia is not a core feature of autism itself, but the two often coexist.
People with PTSD: Trauma can disrupt emotional processing and alexithymia is common among individuals with a history of trauma.
Those with anxiety or depression: Difficulty accessing emotions can sometimes both contribute to and stem from mood disorders.
Individuals with eating disorders or substance use disorders: Struggles with emotional awareness and regulation often play a role in these conditions as well.
Recognizing alexithymia is crucial because emotional awareness is the foundation for emotional regulation, interpersonal connection, and mental well-being. When emotions feel like a confusing blur, it can be harder to advocate for needs, build relationships, or make sense of internal experiences.
Strategies to Support Emotional Awareness
Emotional awareness can be nurtured over time with the right support. Here are a few strategies that can help:
1. Build a Feelings Vocabulary - Start small by introducing simple feeling words (happy, sad, angry, scared). Visual charts, emotion wheels, or storybooks that label emotions can help individuals connect words to internal states. We love the emotion wheels created by Lindsay Braman- click here.
2. Check In With the Body - Since physical sensations and emotions are closely linked, learning to tune into the body can provide clues. Gentle prompts like "Where do you feel that in your body?" can bridge the gap between physical and emotional awareness.
3. Use Scales or Ratings - Instead of asking for a feeling label right away, ask, "Is what you're feeling small, medium, or big?" or "On a scale from 1-10, how strong is it?" This reduces pressure and supports emotional exploration without needing precise words immediately.
4. Model and Reflect Emotions- Adults can model emotional language ("I'm feeling frustrated because the line is so long!") and gently reflect observed emotions in others ("It looks like you might be feeling upset."). This teaches that emotions are natural, nameable experiences.
5. Create Safe, Non-Judgmental Spaces - Building emotional awareness takes patience. It's important to create environments where emotional expression is welcomed — not rushed, criticized, or dismissed.
In short, alexithymia can make emotions feel like a puzzle with missing pieces — but with compassionate support, individuals can learn to recognize, name, and honour their inner worlds.
WonderTree has built a supportive space where children can explore their emotions and tools to better understand themselves.
Reach out to use today to learn more about how we can support your child in building emotional awareness, confidence, and self-understanding!
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IMPORTANT: Information shared by WonderTree is not intended to replace or be constituted as clinical or medical care. It’s intended for educational purposes only. Each child is unique, and the information provided may not be applicable to your specific situation. If you need support, please establish care with a licensed provider so that they can provide tailored recommendations for you or your child. This blog is non-monetized.
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