
Navigating the education system can feel overwhelming for any parent, especially those of neurodivergent children. Beyond common challenges like large class sizes, limited resources, and support in the school system, the added difficulty of working with a school unfamiliar with strengths-based or neuroaffirming practices can make the journey even more daunting. Often, schools may not realize how the language used during IEP meetings or team discussions can significantly impact how a child’s needs and abilities are perceived.
With the right preparation, however, you can help steer these conversations toward productive outcomes that prioritize your child’s growth and success. This guide offers practical tips and examples of neuroaffirming language to empower you in advocating effectively.
What Are Neuroaffirming Practices and Care?
Providing support that embraces and respects the incredible diversity of neurotypes, or types of brains. This approach highlights the uniqueness of how our brains work and crafts customized plans to support the individual’s goals rather than society’s goals for the individual.
Neuroaffirming practices promote inclusion, reduce stigma, and help children feel valued for who they are. For instance, instead of framing a child as “struggling with behavior,” a neuroaffirming perspective might emphasize their need for individualized strategies to support emotional regulation.
Here are a few quick examples:
Instead of.. “Your child is non-compliant.”
Neuroaffirming: “Your child benefits from clear instructions and predictable routines to support transitions.”
Instead of... “Your child has poor social skills.”
Neuroaffirming: “Your child thrives with structured opportunities to build peer connections.”
Instead of... “Your child is easily distracted.”
Neuroaffirming: “Your child engages best in a calm and focused environment with minimal sensory input.”
Instead of... “Your child refuses to follow instructions.”
Neuroaffirming: “Your child responds well to instructions delivered in small, manageable steps.”
It is important to note that every individual possesses their own individual unique preferences in regards to language and terminology. It is always good practice to ask the child/family what language they prefer and honour that / ask the school to honour your family’s preference.
Language Shifts

Preparing for School Meetings
Before the Meeting:
Document Strengths and Needs: List your child’s abilities, interests, and areas where support is required. For example, “My child excels at visual learning and benefits from hands-on activities.”
Define Goals: Identify what you hope to achieve during the meeting. Examples might include ensuring access to sensory tools, clarifying accommodations, or adjusting language in the IEP to reflect strengths-based approaches.
Create a Strengths Profile: Develop a one-page document highlighting your child’s unique qualities, preferred learning styles, and what helps them succeed. Share this with the team to set a positive tone.
Bring Supporting Documentation: Provide relevant documentation, such as psychological, occupational therapy, or speech-language assessments. Highlight specific recommendations you would like the school to implement, as detailed reports are not always thoroughly reviewed.
During/After the Meeting:
Focus on collaboration, using phrases like, “How can we work together to support my child?”
When concerns are raised, redirect the conversation to strengths. For example, “Yes, transitions are challenging, but they respond well to visual schedules.”
Advocate for language that respects your child’s individuality. If someone uses deficit-based language, gently reframe it: “I think what you mean is that _____ benefits from extra time to process instructions.”
Ask the team how they can work collaboratively to support these recommendations rather than questioning if they can support the recommendations.
Work together to adapt the recommendation to suit the school environment or identify alternative solutions to address the need if the original recommendation cannot be implemented as written.
Ask the team 'what is going well' or 'what is working' - this can be a good tool to gather some information about what goes well, when it goes well, so they can include more of that thing.
Request school-based data to help to determine where strengths/needs lie and create an achievement baseline when requesting accommodations or modifications.
Parent - Teacher Collaboration:
In a school unfamiliar with strengths-based and neuroaffirming practices, fostering collaboration with teachers and staff is essential. Approach them with a mindset of partnership, acknowledging their efforts while gently introducing your insights as the expert on your child. Share practical, strengths-based strategies that can help your child thrive, even in a less familiar framework. This collaborative effort can help bridge the gap and create a more supportive environment for your child.
Important Key Terms:
Here are some key terms and concepts to take with you when advocating for your child. Understanding these will help you effectively communicate your child's needs to the school.
Strengths-Based: An approach that focuses on the child’s abilities and potential rather than their challenges.
Neuroaffirming: Practices that validate and respect neurodivergent experiences without aiming to“normalize” them.
Accommodations: Changes in the learning environment or teaching strategies to support access and success. Visit out blog on accommodations here.
Self-Advocacy: The ability to understand and communicate one’s needs and preferences effectively.
Creating Neuroaffirming Classrooms and School Practices - Tip Sheet
Click here to access a downloadable resource
to help guide you in preparing for school meetings, advocating effectively, and fostering collaboration with your child’s school team.
Want to know more about how to support neurodivergent youth within the school system? Visit our blog here.
Dr. Woods has also written an article worth reading on cultivating neuroaffirming classrooms here.
Seeking External Support:
If your child’s school is unfamiliar with strengths-based and neuroaffirming practices, seeking external support can make a significant difference. If advocating within the school proves challenging, working with an educational consultant or a school psychologist can help bridge gaps.
At WonderTree, we offer educational consultation, advocacy support, and targeted tutoring services led by school psychologists and certified special education teachers. These services can provide your child with personalized support while empowering you to advocate effectively within the school system.
Contact us - We are here to support you and your family!
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#ChildDevelopment #ParentingTips #SupportingNeurodiversity #EmpowerNeurodivergentKids #ExecutiveFunctioningSkills #NeurodiversityAwareness #RaisingResilientKids #ChildSuccessStrategies #NeurodivergentSupport #PracticalParenting #GrowthMindsetForKids #Transitions #LifeTransitions #NavigatingLifeTransitions
IMPORTANT: Information shared by WonderTree is not intended to replace or be constituted as clinical or medical care. It’s intended for educational purposes only. Each child is unique, and the information provided may not be applicable to your specific situation. If you need support, please establish care with a licensed provider so that they can provide tailored recommendations for you or your child. This blog is non-monetized.
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