Building Confidence in Preteens
- Abbie Cameron
- Jan 8
- 4 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
The preteen years sit right in the middle of childhood and adolescence, and they can feel confusing for everyone involved. Kids are no longer “little,” but they’re not teenagers yet either. They’re beginning to notice how others see them, compare themselves to peers, and question their own abilities. Confidence, which once came easily, can suddenly feel fragile. This is why these years are such an important time to intentionally nurture self-belief.
Confidence in preteens doesn’t mean always feeling brave or outgoing. It means feeling secure enough to try, to fail, to speak up, and to keep going. It grows slowly through experiences that help kids understand who they are and what they’re capable of.
One of the simplest ways to build confidence is through thinking-based activities that encourage reflection and independence. When preteens are given space to think, problem-solve, and make decisions, they start to trust themselves. Journaling, for example, can be incredibly powerful. Writing or drawing about their day, their challenges, or moments they felt proud helps them process emotions and recognize personal growth. Over time, they begin to see patterns of resilience and effort rather than focusing only on mistakes.
Encouraging a growth mindset also plays a major role. Preteens are often afraid of getting things wrong, especially as academic and social pressure increases. Helping them understand that mistakes are a natural part of learning can shift how they see themselves. Conversations about what they learned from a tough situation, or how they might approach it differently next time, build confidence far more effectively than praise based only on results.
Everyday decision-making is another quiet confidence booster. Allowing preteens to plan a weekend activity, manage their homework schedule, or take responsibility for a small project shows them that their judgment matters. Even when outcomes aren’t perfect, the experience of making choices and learning from them builds self-trust.
Outside the home, clubs and group activities can offer powerful opportunities for confidence to grow. Being part of a group gives preteens a sense of belonging, while developing skills gives them a sense of competence. Sports and physical activities are often the first thing that comes to mind, and for good reason. As kids see their strength, coordination, and endurance improve, they gain confidence not just in their bodies but in their ability to improve with practice.
For other children, confidence blossoms through creative outlets. Drama clubs, music lessons, art groups, and writing workshops allow preteens to express themselves in ways that feel authentic. Performing or sharing creative work can be intimidating at first, but with encouragement and structure, these experiences often lead to pride and self-assurance.
Academic and interest-based clubs, such as robotics, coding, chess, or science groups, are especially helpful for kids who gain confidence through problem-solving and mastery. These environments reward curiosity and persistence, helping preteens see that their thinking skills have real value.
Service-oriented and leadership groups also play a unique role. Volunteering, student councils, or youth organizations teach preteens that they can make a difference. Confidence grows when kids see that their actions matter and that they are capable of contributing to something larger than themselves.
While activities and clubs are important, confidence is reinforced most strongly in everyday interactions with adults. The way parents, teachers, and mentors respond to challenges can either strengthen or weaken a child’s self-belief. Praising effort, perseverance, and improvement sends the message that growth matters more than perfection. Giving preteens space to struggle, without immediately stepping in to fix things, shows trust in their abilities.
Perhaps most importantly, creating a safe environment for conversation allows confidence to take root. When preteens feel heard, respected, and supported, they are more likely to take risks and believe in themselves. They don’t need constant reassurance; they need consistent encouragement and understanding.
Building confidence in preteens is not about pushing them to be someone else. It’s about helping them recognize their strengths, accept their imperfections, and trust that they are capable of learning and growing. With patience, support, and the right opportunities, confidence becomes something they carry with them long after the preteen years are over.
At Wondertree, building confidence in teens is at the heart of everything we do. We offer virtual workshops, groups, and programs designed to help youth strengthen confidence across different areas of their lives. Stay up to date with our upcoming groups and events HERE.
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IMPORTANT: Information shared by WonderTree is not intended to replace or be constituted as clinical or medical care. It’s intended for educational purposes only. Each child is unique, and the information provided may not be applicable to your specific situation. If you need support, please establish care with a licensed provider so that they can provide tailored recommendations for you or your child. This blog is non-monetized.
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